So this pregnancy has been discouraging. Much like the last one. Due to sickness. Its funny because somehow I thought this one would be much different. I hear the words of women saying "oh I never get sick!" Or "I don't even know what morniing sickness is!". And I think oh yeah!! That can be me, and it has thoroughly disappointed me that I am not that woman. My first reacation is to get angry. Be angry at women who don't get sick, be angry at God, and be angry at my body. I need to sit back, get off my high-horse, and realize that God never promised this would be easy. God gave me a baby! And for this, I need to be praising, not pouting. Secondly, I tend to get mad at myself, thinking that I am so weak! If only I could be stronger. This too, is not a truth. The truth is that my body is making a human...does that seem like an easy task?? I think not! People ask me a lot how I'm feeling, and a lot of times I don't even want to be honest, for fear that they don't understand. " Why, your 16 weeks, you should feel good by now!!"
FALSE.
All this to say, God is checking my heart right now. Here's what I do know...
Babies are a blessing from the Lord. To be given such a huge blessing and to be bitter and angry about it, is selfish. Especially when there are people out there who's bodies cannot have children. This is just a huge reminder to myself. I need to re-check my heart frequently so I can come back to this place.
This doesn't mean my discouragemnt is gone and I'm thrilled with how sick I feel! This does mean that I'm human, and I need to re-evaluate where my heart and attitude lie! Hopefully this blog will remind me!!!
All of that said... I'm 16 weeks today! In 1 month we get to see if this blessing is a BOY or a GIRL. That also means in 1 month ill be half way through!!! :). Were anxious to know this little person better!!!!
FALSE.
All this to say, God is checking my heart right now. Here's what I do know...
Babies are a blessing from the Lord. To be given such a huge blessing and to be bitter and angry about it, is selfish. Especially when there are people out there who's bodies cannot have children. This is just a huge reminder to myself. I need to re-check my heart frequently so I can come back to this place.
This doesn't mean my discouragemnt is gone and I'm thrilled with how sick I feel! This does mean that I'm human, and I need to re-evaluate where my heart and attitude lie! Hopefully this blog will remind me!!!
All of that said... I'm 16 weeks today! In 1 month we get to see if this blessing is a BOY or a GIRL. That also means in 1 month ill be half way through!!! :). Were anxious to know this little person better!!!!
front view:
5 comments:
it'll get better! i'm 19wks and i threw up twice this week. :P at least we can look back and really appreciate what it means to feel well and how hard it is for people who are chronically sick.
Thanks Jen!
I don't like that your sick, but it's nice to know i'm not alone! :)
man i hate pregnancy. seriously. i'm a hater of it all. im sick all the time. {this 2nd time i did however have a break and a wonderful 2nd Tri... but alas it returned with a ferocity the 3rd tri} and the pains that came with the second no no fun. but i love my babies they were worth every second. so i plan to be pregnant again and suffer yet again. then maybe i'll just adopt. :)
shannon-
you are braver then me!!! I think we're DONE after this!!
I'm sorry you're not feeling well, and your words are a wonderful blessing and reminder to all of us (me included) that tend to forget how well we have it despite things being a little rough.
I love you!
xoxoxo
Mom
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