I've been waiting forever.

I've been waiting forever to publish this post. It seems that every time I write it, it never really turns out the way that I anticipated it. I wonder if even now it'll turn out the way I was hoping for it to turn out. Here goes nothing.

In the past six months to one year, I've learned a ton About myself. I've learned good things, and I've learned not so good things. Romans chapter 7, verse 15 says; "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, But what I hate, I do." I never really understood that verse growing up. I figured it had something to do with sin, which is true, but I feel like I have grasped a complete better and new understanding of what that verse really means. I have identified things in myself that I don't necessarily like. However, I have come to accept those things, work on those things, look in the mirror, pray about them,move on and live my life in freedom, as God intended. I have opened myself up to vulnerability. Not just being vulnerable with your spouse or with your friends, but being open and transparent with everyone. Obviously, there are different levels of transparency with different people in your life. However, I have found such a overwhelming freedom in just being me. I have stopped acting like I'm able to do things I can't. I have stopped talking to people like I feel like they want to be talked to, and just started telling the truth Just like it is! I have stopped hiding. I have stopped only telling half of the story. I have accepted myself, flaws and all, and in fact, have embraced and tried to correct those flaws. I am not embarrassed of who I am, even the sinful things in my life. We have all fallen short. I have learned that shutting down and not talking to people, doesn't help anyone, and only hinders a persons healing. To be closed off… To be cold. Life is way too short to do that.

Why am I sharing this? I am sharing this because I have found a level of happiness in my life that I really haven't had before. Like I said earlier, I have experienced so much freedom. I share this because I hope that others can experience it as well. It's time to stop telling half truths, it's time to stop hiding, it's time to be vulnerable -the bad and the good. I think that is how God intended life to be, to love others, to help others, and to be family with others.

Don't close yourself off. Don't do life alone, and don't harbor bitter feelings in your heart. Life is so much better lived when lived with complete and utter honesty.

:)
Love you all. Hope that makes sense.